The Pursuit of Personal Happiness - Albert Ellis
Albert Ellis (1913 - 2007), a psychologist, developed
Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT).
Central to this approach is Hamlet’s idea, “There is nothing is good or
bad, but thinking makes it so.” That is, our beliefs and judgments about events
bother us, not the events themselves. By disputing our irrational beliefs and
judgments, we reduce the intensity of negative emotions and thus think more
clearly and skeptically, increase the frequency of positive emotions, and feel
more satisfied with life.
The basic message is that we can pursue happiness
rationally. When we are fearful, anxious, frustrated, or angry, we had better
convince ourselves that it's not "logical" to be angry over this
issue. When something goes wrong, we had better feel disappointment or regret,
otherwise stoking our own anger or demanding the impossible will just keep us
overgeneralizing, seeing things as worse than they are (the cruel world
fallacy) and unable to tolerate ambiguity or frustration.
I don’t read much in the
self-help genre. For one, the same ideas are repeated time and again throughout
the book, though as a teacher I realize the importance of repetition in the
business of changing behavior. What I like about Ellis is his challenge to use
logical evidence to strike down irrational beliefs. I like his faith that we
can challenge our thinking through self-questioning and positive thoughts.
Of downsides, we live in
an imperfect world indeed. Lots of self-help advice just seems like common
sense. Defeating the natural human tendency to be irrational also seems as far-fetched
as loving one’s neighbor as deeply as one’s self. Assuming the problem always
lies within ourselves also lets a screwy world – especially the world of work –
off the hook. I once attended a safety and security workshop in which the
presenter mantraed that I had a personal responsibility to know what to do in
case a shooter starting blasting away in my workplace. I thought, how weird
that I, the master of my own fate, become the irresponsible one if I’m unlucky
enough to be caught in the lobby, where there’s no door to lock and barricade,
and get my negligent ass riddled with bullets.
As Johnny Cash sang, “I
don't like it but I guess things happen that way.”
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