Note: Bertha Cool and Donald Lam are mismatched private eyes in Earl Stanley Gardner’s offbeat mysteries written under the pen-name of A.A. Fair. Cool’s tough, practical, and money-hungry; Lam’s wiry, brainy, and clever. Together they tackle scams, murders, and human folly with sharp dialogue, twisted plots, and plenty of friction - more psychology than procedure, always fast and unpredictable.
Fools Die on Friday – A. A. Fair
The story kicks off in the cramped office of Cool & Lam, where the air smells of trouble. Carlotta walks in looking like she’s got a secret she doesn’t want to share. Says her uncle’s wife, Daphne, is planning to slip her husband a poison pill that’ll put him six feet under. She wants Bertha and Donald to stop the poison from hitting the bloodstream.
Lam takes the case like a guy who smells a rat and wants to see the whiskers. He figures Carlotta’s playing her own game, and he’s not wrong. Bertha warns him to keep his nose clean and his hands off anything that’ll make the client squawk. Lam ignores her and dives headfirst into the mess. His way of stopping the poison? Slick as oil and twice as dangerous. Carlotta and the reader have to admit - it’s clever, even if it blows up in his face.
Then the bodies start piling up. Two murders, and the cops come sniffing like bloodhounds. Enter Frank Sellars, a detective who’s all grit and no grin. He’s old-school, hates amateurs, and Lam’s his favorite punching bag. Bertha, who’s got a yen for staying out of jail, cozies up to Sellars and leaves Lam twisting in the wind. She doesn’t want Lam behind bars, but she’s not about to go down with him either.
Sellars plays rough. He thinks Lam’s a liar even when he’s telling the truth, and a choir boy when he’s spinning yarns. Lam’s got that knack for looking innocent while he’s pulling stretchers, and it drives Sellars nuts.
This one’s a little different from the usual Gardner fare. Longer than most - about 270 pages in the Dell edition - but it moves like a getaway car. The plot’s tight, the action fast, and you don’t feel the extra weight. Bertha and Lam are at each other’s throats more than usual, and Bertha’s ready to toss Lam under the bus if it keeps her in the cops’ good books. Lam, as always, attracts a city woman - Ruth Otis - because she thinks Lam’s both “nice” and “hard as concrete,” which is Gardner’s way of saying she’s in trouble and knows she needs help.
Cool & Lam stories aren’t about dusting for prints or playing Sherlock. They’re about people - crooked, clever, and sometimes just out of their depth - getting tangled in their own schemes. Gardner knows the score: people are a cocktail of ingenuity, integrity, and boneheaded moves, shaken and served with a twist of unpredictability.
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