Thursday, May 7, 2026

The Nones of Dick Powell: You Never Can Tell

You Never Can Tell
1951 / 1:18
Tagline: “A Picture for People who Think they've Seen Everything!”

In this quiet comic fantasy, the German Shepherd King is living large. He has the run of a millionaire’s mansion, eats tasty morsels daily, hangs out with doggie buds, and is spoiled rotten by Peggy Dow, the millionaire’s smart, kind and comely secretary. But the millionaire dies of ornery old age. His misanthropic bequest of his estate is to the canine. If and when the canine dies, millions go to the secretary.

Unfortunately, poor King does die. The cops bring in the secretary for questioning and the state freezes the probating of the will. The secretary is released for lack of evidence but her reputation is besmirched. In animal heaven, loyal and devoted King requests that he be allowed to return to earth in order to find his killer and clear the name of kindly Peggy. The request is granted. He is sent back with the companion Golden Harvest, who in life though a filly was a moderately successful race horse.

King in the human guise of Rex Shepherd, PI, is played by Dick Powell. This is rather a take-off, because Powell on screen and radio played hard-boiled private investigators as in Murder My Sweet. Golden Harvest, or Goldie, is played by athletic 21-year-old Joyce Holden. What’s funny is that they both retain preferences and behaviors from their former incarnations. Powell likes munching down Kibble and playing with a ball with a bell inside it. He has a phobia about the dog catcher. Speaking in a charming Kentucky accent, Goldie can run like the wind. She has an encyclopedic knowledge of turf matters and keeps a proud eye on her grandchildren’s career progress. Her purse is a feed bag.

The movie is not a parody of noir private eye movies but has its share of cynical asides. Powell observes to Holden, “These are humans we're dealing with. You can't tell them the truth and expect them to believe it.” With a mix of compassion and cynicism, Holden remarks, “People can’t help being people.” When Powell is placed in a holding cell, the deviants and degenerates are enraged and beat him up when they think he is a dog poisoner. While it’s very human to go off violently on no evidence whatsoever, even misfits have their standards of behavior.

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